Parenting styles vary widely and not the same thing is right for everyone. One of the greatest challenges new parents face is disagreeing on parenting styles. You and your partner may have been raised very differently and have different ideas of how you raise children, or you may just have different opinions. As parents, it is important to be united in your decisions. Here are some tips on how to agree on parenting styles–
Make Some Decisions in Front of the Children
It’s okay for you and your partner to contemplate small issues when your children are around. It is actually very healthy for them to watch you and your partner respectfully and calmly resolving a conflict. Many children don’t like to compromise, so it is good to set an example for them. If you and your partner find solutions and compromise together, using calm voices and facts, your child will learn to do the same.
Agree to Disagree
Sometimes, you and your partner will have a disagreement you just can’t compromise on. And let’s face it, you can’t win every time. Learn to accept the fact that you may not always be thrilled with how your partner handles your kids and he won’t always be thrilled with how you handle them. You are equals and should each get a chance to do what you think is right. Then learn from each other’s mistakes.
Support Each Other in Front of the Children
It is important to know what issues each of you simply aren’t willing to compromise on, and which ones you can each be more flexible about. If there is a big disagreement, discuss it in private and try to find a resolution, before you are put on the spot and forced to argue in front of your children. If this does happen, instead of arguing, support your partner in front of the kids. When you are alone, explain why you don’t agree. You don’t want your kids to get in the habit of arguing every time someone doesn’t agree with them.
Be Positive When Kids Question Disagreements
If your child brings up discrepancies in you and your partner’s parenting styles, be honest about it. If they ask you why daddy let’s them do something that you don’t, instead of claiming you are the “right” one, explain that sometimes parents disagree, and that’s okay.
Aim for Consistency After A Split
If you and your partner separate, try to maintain some of the same rules in each house, such as homework and bedtime routines. But of course that may not always be possible, especially if you aren’t on good terms. Remember, you can only control what goes on in your house; your ex is a parent to, and unless he is doing something you feel is extremely dangerous, let him have his rules in his house, and you can have yours.